Ask First, Pet Second: Agency and the Consent Test

Published on: May 25, 2026
Category: Consent Test

Foundations 101

Our Foundations series consists of practices and protocols we consider fundamental to healthy behavior and happy dogs. Drawn from over 50 years of combined experience in our team and provided to you here, these are the building blocks of the life you imagined with your dog.

Needs, Needs, Needs

We recognize a series of needs in canine welfare, including food, water, rest, social interaction, exercise, agency, and space to perform species-specific behaviors. Agency is an important one when it comes to canine behavior. It’s important in behavior in any animal or human. Ever felt like you didn’t have a choice? Or felt trapped by the decisions of those with authority over you? That frustration builds over time, in proportion to the fewer choices you have, and starts to show up in your behavior.

And not just around the lack of agency. Suddenly, everything that bothers you bothers you a LOT more. If you’re familiar with the spoons analogy, all your spoons are taken up, dealing with the lack of choice in your life, and you have none left for the other annoyances and frustrations, so you react more intensely than you might otherwise. Your silverware drawer is empty

This happens with dogs, too. And it creates a lot of behavioral issues for owners and guardians, not to mention a lot of suffering for their dogs. This is another practice in our Foundations series that won’t fix everything on its own, but is key to a happy life for you and Fido. We can’t give dogs complete control over their lives, but in a world that focuses on and exalts control and obedience in dogs, we’re seeing an ever-rising number of behavioral issues, not just in numbers but in intensity.

Paradoxically, to all the arguments about control and obedience, it turns out that the more choices we’re able to give our dogs, the better their behavior. And behavior is a strong indicator of welfare. Having choices and some control over what happens to us makes us happier.

Shocking, I know.

Now That We’ve Talked About Needs, The Need-To-Know

One of the most important ways to start giving our dogs choice and some control over their lives is by letting them decide when they want to be touched, as much as possible. Sometimes we do need to touch them, and we’ll talk about how to make sure they’re comfortable with that in session. But for our purposes here, we’re going to use a practice that lets our dogs decide when they want to be petted, and when they don’t.

Bonus: It facilitates communication between you and your dog, helps you learn to read their body language in other situations, and builds trust between you. Really fundamental relationship stuff here as we build the life we imagined with our dog.

Tip: As you implement a consent test, you’ll start to learn your dog’s patterns. When and where they like to be touched, how, and how often. And you might start to notice changes. This can also help clue you in if something is wrong, such as new pain in your dog’s body, if he suddenly doesn’t like to be touched in an area he used to enjoy. When your dog consents, we recommend a gentle massage occasionally to help with this. It’s also another great bonding experience for many dogs and their humans.

There are a few important caveats to consider when starting the consent test. First, if your dog is fearful or aggressive, or doesn’t like to be touched at all, we strongly recommend involving a trainer or behavior consultant for this process. We do both in-person and virtual consults and would be happy to help. Safety should always be the top priority, so if you have any doubts or concerns, listen to your instincts and reach out to us. Second, if your dog is a foster, has recently joined the home, or you volunteer or work in a shelter, the same applies. Go slow, and if there’s any doubt, any at all, seek professional assistance.

Finally, when starting out, we want to practice in a quiet location with few distractions, preferably somewhere your dog is already comfortable. If you’ve been following our Foundations series, anywhere you practice the Relaxation protocol would be perfect. AS we get better at reading our dog’s signals, and our dog gets comfortable with the idea that they have some control over when we touch them, we can graduate to using the consent test in more distracting environments. Eventually, we want it to be the rule, not the exception.

Your Assignment Agent: The Consent Test

What we need

You
Your dog
A quiet space

What we’re going to do

First, we get comfortable and let our dog sniff around a bit and settle, do his thing. This is about agency, so we don’t want to ask him to come into the space we’ve selected and then force interaction.
Once he’s ready to engage with us, we extend our hands out in front of us, palms up, arms open wide, to about knee width. We can do this from any position, but if possible, we should avoid standing directly in front of our dogs. I prefer to be on my knees or seated and will often position myself to their side or at an angle.
Watch your dog. Look for signs of interest, such as moving towards you or nudging your hand, soft eyes, and a relaxed body. If your dog has a tense body, is licking his lips, looking away from you, or moving away from you, he’s not interested right now – these are his way of saying no thank you. We stop here because that’s the whole point of the consent test. He can say no, thank you, not right now.
If you do see signs of interest, reach out and pet him gently for about 3-5 seconds. The chest or side is a good spot for this. We don’t want to reach over his head to pet the top of his head or reach for his feet or tail. If he exposes his rear to us while moving closer, we can certainly offer scratches on his lower back – that’s usually a strong invitation.
Pull your hands away, slowly, and watch your dog again. If he wants more, he’ll let you know by leaning in, rubbing against your hand, or pawing you gently. If he doesn’t, he may get tense, or again move away, turn his head, lick his lips, or yawn.
If your good boy or girl does want more, keep going, but take occasional breaks by pulling your hands away to check in again, letting him or her decide if the petting should continue or if they are ready to move on. Over time, your dog will become more comfortable communicating with you this way, but at first, it will be a new experience for both of you, so we want to check in often to let him know he has a choice. Especially at first, he’s not going to be used to having a say in his life, and that’s the primary goal here – agency.
Give yourself a high five! You’ve taken an amazing step for yourself, your dog, and the life you imagined together.

Here’s your cheat sheet on what to watch for:

Signs Your Dog is Saying Yes	The No Thank You’s
Rubbing against you	Tense Body
Leaning into you	Looking Away
Nudging you	Yawning
Pawing you	Lip Licking
Moving towards you	Leaning away
Soft eyes/Relaxed Body	Moving Away

Troubleshooting and Tips From Dr. Coberly

Does the dog wiggle away while you are petting? That is a good indication that, for some reason, he isn’t into it just now. It could be that the petting is unpleasant—are you pulling his hair, or is he in pain, or just nervous? Or it could mean he wants something else right now. Does he need to pee? Is the environment too exciting? Is he hungry?
Does the dog lean in and lick your face? That may be a sign the dog finds it too exciting. That can be “good” excitement or bad excitement. “Oh Gosh Mom, that is the best ever!!!” or “Please stop, please stop!” If you repeat the consent test, allowing the dog to “sign on” or check out if he wants, you should be able to distinguish between a “Yes, please” and a “No thanks!” quickly. It may take the dog a couple of days to become really clear about his choices.
Dog shows conflicting signals—lip licks and leaning in. Step back and do not engage for a few moments. Some dogs try to appease their handler by moving in or licking you when they really want to be left alone. Others really are conflicted, both happy and scared, these ones may snap! Finally, some dogs do lip licks when they are super happy—do NOT crowd your dog or reach in if they do this. Wait and let him give you other signals!
Play around with different amounts of pressure and different styles of petting. Dogs are as individual as humans. Almost all of them love some form of physical touch.
Introduce a “do you want…” signal before other activities. I’m sure many of you have dogs that get excited when you put on your shoes. Try holding out their collar to see if they want a walk. Show them grooming tools to see if they are willing to do husbandry activities (be sure you do this when you can allow the dog to say no. Do not offer a choice and then ignore that choice!).

About the Authors

Benjamin Hartwell has studied canine behavior extensively and now practices in the greater Cleveland area and virtually across the nation, and is a co-founder and Executive Director of Bailey’s Fund, a charitable organization dedicated to preserving dog-human families suffering from adverse social determinants of health. He can be reached at insightandinstinctpets.com and Bailey’s Fund — Every Dog Deserves a Second Chance.

Dr. Caitlin Coberly is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant with over 40 years of experience and a PhD in Evolutionary Biology from Duke University. Her work is characterized by a “naked training” philosophy, which involves working with animals naturally without traditional tools or compulsion. Dr. Coberly can be found at Caitlin Coberly Academy for Dogs and Humans, Welcome to Kate’s Dogs! – Kate’s Dogs, and insightandinstinctpets.com.